Monday, October 20, 2008

Serving our Nation

You know we hear a lot about the people in the military who serve our country, and I agree they serve hard often at huge cost to their physical and mental and probably spiritual well-being. Today I want to write something about another kind of service, the civil service of a person who is now being vilified by the Republican party.

Jennifer Bruener is the Secretary of State in Ohio. She was interviewed on teh Rachel Maddow show on Friday and something she said just hit me hard. Ohio just won a supreme court decision that allows them to NOT have to check every voter registration against a bunch of other databases that they don't have control over and no way of verifying their accuracy. This is important becasue it will prevent 200,000 estimated voters from ahaving to use "provisional" ballots that then may not get counted....but that isn't what hot me. Ms. Bruener is being vilified by some speakers on behalf of the National and Ohio Republican Committees. Rachel quoted some of teh statements...the usual partisan blah blah...and I wondered why is it when the Republicans lose it has to be partisan political manuevering, they never just lose....sigh...anyway, Ms. Bruener said "If I have to be a lightening rod to take this so that the election Boards can do their jobs in peace, so be it." That statement moved me in a weird way. I was really proud of her - I mean no one wants to be vilified in the press, especially for simply trying to do what they can to keep voters able to vote but here is this woman saying you know what, if it means that people WITH the RIGHT to vote get to vote, bring it on. To me that is the epitome of service to her country.

So Thanks Jennifer Bruener for your service to this country.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Willy Wonka

Hopefully by now all y'all have seen Charlei and the Chocolate Factory or read it if not stop now spoiler alert.

You know ta the end when he goves back the everlasting gobstopper and Gene Wilder (in the movie) says and into the darkness a ray of light or something along those lines.... I am truely blessed. Tosday it was a tiny thing that meant oh so much. There is a writer whose blog I follow, somedays I post on it with honesty like i do here instead of what I say on livejournal whihc is heavily edited for not laying my troubles on others etc. A couple days ago I poured out a little of my angst about having nothing means that this current crisis means less to me. She responded with a private encouraging e-mail. The next day she wrote about heroes unrealted to this and I commented to her that she had been my hero the day before becasue that encouraging e-mail came at a tough time

Anyhow, today I felt so very alone, desperately and very alone and I was sitting at my computer and suddenly I had a new mail and it was a notice that she had added me on facebook. So I posted on her wall and said wow i was feeling disconnected and there you are and she replied and said I was one of her favorite posters

I am a giddy fan girl. (and really not a stalker but wow she is an amazingly good writer)

Life without cheese

Well among other things, my husband has been diagnosed (finally!!!) with a dairy allergy. Cheese is my favorite food. hmmmm these two facts mean that our life is gonna be interesting for a while as we learn to make main dishes that are yummy and healthy and dairy free. Fortunatly it doesn't seem to extend to stuff that has a small amount of dairy like bread or butter but wow we tested this allergy theory a couple weeks ago; he went without dairy for a week a lot of his stomach troubles stopped then he had one glass of chocolate milk and 28 hours of stomach trouble commenced. Okay that is enough proof for me.

but crud mac and cheese, lasagne hot dish, there are a lot of pretty cheap meals we make that have cheese.....but we will work it out. I sense split pea soup on the horizen though - yummy yummy

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

On donating to food shelves

Okay first off if you didn't know how bad my life is you do now.

Plus, I am very full of gratitude to people who donate food items to food shelves no matter what it is.

That being said, please try to think when you donate things to food shelves, it isn't like the receipients aren't thrilled with anything that has calories but perhaps err on the side of practicality?

For anyone who doesn't know how a food shelf works at least in my area, you can go once a month and they give you a couple bags of food based on how many people are in your families. So you get in our case, for example, 4 bags of groceries whihc have been donated. There is some good stuff - canned beef stew, chili, toilet paper, milk but there are some odd things too - like the box of sugar cones for ice cream. I mean no offense but huh? The Ramen noodles are handy enough and the rice was great, the sugar free jello is cool my daughter will like it but no calories does not in fact end hunger. The condensed soup is awesome - tomato and vegetable beef are good flavors especially in fall.

Anyway, I am happy to have stuff to make a dinner for my daughter tonight and the Internet for another day and a healthy daughter and free breakfast and reduced price lunch for her at school.... and a husband who loves me and there are many things for which I am blessed by whatever benevolence exists in the world. I am hoping we can just make do until my husband who seems to finally have his health uissues licked can work a fuill couple weeks at work - then there will be a little more money anyway.
well all good things muct come to an end I guess. I don't know how much longer I will have Internet access....there is no money and rent is more important.

Sigh.

I will be very alone

Friday, September 26, 2008

Well I guess the nicest thing about being poor is that the current economic crisis is not causing me to panic. I don't have enough money to reach the FDIC cap of insurance and really my 0 net worth in todays world is not much different from my 0 net worth of last weeks world.

Its my birthday

I feel discouraged and I am still sick. I wonder if my parents are going to acknowledge my birthday. All of my siblings are born within ten days of eachother - I am the last in my generation; Audrey, my neice, is tomorrow.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I can't get rid of this cold/whatever that is lodged in my lungs. At this point I have coghed so much that my chect and back are alternately sore and numb with random shooting pain in my neck if I move my head. I don't play to use this journal to complain about my health but this is getting crazy. When oh when is ther going to be some kind of way for me to see a doctor without having to go to an ER? Sigh I feel discouraged by the world at the moment.

Friday, September 19, 2008

OMG the ads on TV trying to justify high fructose corn syrup are scary. They are put out by these people http://www.sweetsurprise.com/index.php I can't be the only person who finds them odd and kinda offensive.

They are surreal to me (the clips are available on the above site) where they are trying to justify that HFCS is no worse than sugar - Please give me Coke with suger pretty please? Sigh it is weird and I wonder if my tax dollars are paying for it?

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Ha! I got Twitter and I have to say it makes me feel connected in the old way that IM used to.....fun. I am CheshireKate there as well if anyone cares.

Friday, September 12, 2008

One an entirely different note

Here this site is the best ever

Answering the newly important question - Has the new super collider destroyed the Earth yet?

http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

The fact that some people are that worried about it in the first place - we should be so lucky....I suspect the earth is far more likely to be destroyed by the stupidity of multiple goverments and various other people than the super collider but that is just my angry and cynical side.

On the off chance that you don't know what the heck I am talking about
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/supercollider-tunnel-nears-completion-789999.html
I am just not getting over this so I figure I will vent about it here. I mod a online game, and I workl really hard at it and I have time and time again taken the hardest forum areas and stuck up publically for the game management eventhough really they have an absolutely terrible record for screwing over the English players (read the games England whihc is multi national but English speaking) in favor of the French players.

Anyway, for the last several months I have been quietly suggesting that they have an admin team rather than one admin becasue the one admin we do have is terrific BUT busy with life etc as well. I also was very clear that I wanted to be on the admin team. I am currently the oldest mod and I have been a mod for geeze like 2 and half 3 years now. So they announce that they are going with Admin teams and name two more admins to the team. You will never guess who didn't make it....grrrr. I know I should just chalk it up to life. It was more than just not making it though, it was they way it was done, I mean I guess I think it would have been nice to get a note explaining it ahead of time....and the sop a new title to me but exactly the same shit I have been doing the whole time as far as running the grid (scheduling the teams) just feel like a sop. I mean how could they not even acknowledge that I was hopeing to get some new opportunities also. The worst is that they named two people I really like to the team and I don't begrudge it to them but I wanted a chance too.

It ties into my whole stupid life, I send resumes out and no one even pretends to care or respond to them. I want the chances other people seem to get for some external validation too. Like I said to me stupid husband the other day, I miss being a people too.

Anyway my rage, hurt and frustration about this is not abating and I am sick again on top of it whihc I am sure isn't helping. I can barely stand to log in to the game and the whole time I am there it is like an exercise in my common sense trying to restrain the sarcastic mean and bitchy side of me. I just want to lash out with all the things I have fought not to say for the whole time I have been there.

If what you are saying is but it is just a game, remember that I am homebound, crippled and have no life...this was a chance for me to try to be creative and interact with people so for me it was more than a game. I don't get to have the same kind of exchanges you all do where someone will say hey nice day out and you say yeah I love the weather or something. No casual chit chat, no changes in perspective, no random compliments and we are financially struggling so there just aren't a lot of things to do.

honestly this is mostly a vent post and I will get over it or I won't and I will quit the game and things will continue on and the world won't stop but it leaves me feeling hollow and mean.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I am not sure I really want to blog about politics becasue really I think that everyone is welsome to theirs. BUT this past week the RNC was here and for me literally here as in a mile away from the house. We had helicopters flying overhead a LOT like 3:30 am whihc was so weird becasue our city is sort of known for rolling up the sidewalks for the most part by 6 pm on weeknigts although that is changing slowly.

I have truely lost faith in the city in many ways, we here in Minnesota tend to be a relatively peaceful lot and mostly our protests involve what I call the march chant and sway mootif. The peole running wild and smashing windows was not my experience of Minnesota protesting (not that I was out there because I must say thse days I think protesting is mostly futile)

Anyway I said months ago that the city's wifty plan to contain the protests by requiring permits and then herding even the permitted protests into a space far away from the Xcel center was made of fail. I mean really by trying to keep the protesters away from their targets, I think they made the situation worse. i am sorry that the city made that decision becasue really, I kind of feel like if you choose to be a deleaget to eitehr the DNC or the RNC, having to see protesters who disagree is kinda part of the process. I mean really none of the Republicans seemed surprised that there were protests ya know?

Anyhow, I am terminally ashamed of the arrest of Amy Goodman, It is gonna be a huge embarassment for the city for a good long time and deservedly so. Interfeing with the press reporting on an event likethe RNC and the accompanying prostest again seems like a bad plan. I think the police were all worked up and a few were really ready to go righteous on a protester, and any prostester would do. I know a couple of people who swear that they were in the peaceful part of the march and got maced anyhow and I am sad about that as well. We are a country founded on freedom of speech and assembly and have a long proud tradition of protest (Tea anyone?) I do blame the current administration for part of this becasue I feel like they have preached the "if you aren't with us you are against us" party line all too often. Sometimes a person just doesn't agree, I don't know when we had to move to open warfare against people who are fellow citizens who just have different opinions.

I know one friend who reads this blog who was a protester and another of my dear readers is rolling his eyes at that and a third has in the past and I fear in the future laid his life out there in service to this nation....and I agree with none of them all the time; I just don't necessarily think it is my job to change their minds. I mean if I want to chare a compelling argument with them I will (as some of you are aware) but in the end, I have my life lessons my beliefs my truisms and they have theirs, the fact that we can even have a dialogue about them sometimes is a banner event in and of itself.

I think we just need to learn to disagree like civilized people and if we can't do that, we need to learn how to fake it.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Not much to say, embarking on a 5 day trip this week with my daughter sans my husband. Terrified but I have some people around to support me and I am certain it will be okay. plus it is Anime Iowa what can I say...I am excited for that part of it.

Been really on task helping solve some problems, made me aware of the selfishness of some. We have an issue where becasue of the flooding, there are FEMA workers in the convention hotel who are staying past when they hotwel thought they would leave. This is a problem becasue we are fully booked. Our Hotel person explained this, and some people were really responsive and some people were well I was stunned, there was an emergency here people...my god we really didn'tdo this just to thwart you.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

LOL I have given someone a link to my blog today, it is actually I think the first time I have given it out. Of course the immediate response is to want to post something profound...but Ithink I have no profoundity at the moment.

I made a new friend in real life the other day, I know doesn't seem like a big deal but since the bad things, I don't make friends very easily but this little 20 year old - wow just seemed to fit in to my small circle. She is everything a 20 year old should be - outspoken, politically aware, dead wrong but full of passion......my cynical self was amused but gratified. The world needs people like her. Her dream is to be a US Senator, and I hope she makes it...she is at least able to look at other poeple and want toknow their stories and why they tick....I figure that can't be a bad thing to have in a politician.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I know blogging failure again

I always have the best of intentions but I just don't have that much that is that funny or interesting to say.

Somedays I do, I just reread my rant about fat and the media and there were parts of it that still made me smile so not too bad.

I am sewing a dress for smallgirlchild using no pattern or anything - obviously one too many project runway viewings and a subconcious denial of the fact that they went to DESIGN school and I have no mad skillz in that area.

Anyhow it is fun and I warned the small one that this may turn into nothingness.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

So you all know (well not that anyone reads this I think but if they did they would know) that I am a fan of Rosie O'Donnell. I think today when I went to her website, I realized that at least part of that comes from her willingness to be excited about things and supportive of people. She has a video on there of a fellow NO NO Nannette cast member tapping....and he is awesome. What I loved is that she is only a disembodied voice in the background encouraging him...it isn't about glorifying herself..it is all about the joy in this mans pure talent.

I think this world would be better if more people just tried every day to find one thing to admire about someone and expressed it in a heartfelt and genuine way. I mean really, it is so easy to pick up negative messages.....I mean this morning I was laying bed and I snapped on the news to see what the weather was going to be which really on the face of it seems like a normal thing and not one fraught with peril...I mean the news. So as Ilistened there were three ads for diet products and an interview with a 16 year old size 0-2 model about being criticized because her legs were chunky. Wow my thigh is probably larger than this chicks waist. So anyway, the point being as a fat chick especially, you can't go for 24 straight hours AND participate in life without getting some message about how bad it is that you are a fat chick.

Ok point taken, but for gods sake could we just find something equally GOOD to praise in people? Like hey you are a registered voter....that really is important...speak up voice and opinion...try to change the world for the better. Or wow, look at your great shoes, I can't find cool looking shoes like that, you have a knack for that. I mean really people shouldn't have to win the Nobel peace prize to get a little praise. It is actually kind of fun. I try to do it randomly periodically. I don't get out much but when I do, I try to randomly compliment someone. You have no idea how contagious it is. I told a Walmart clerk last time I was there, that I appreciated her extra effort to make sure that the Easter candy was hidden because smallgirlchild who passionately believes in the tooth fairy, easter bunny and Santa was with me. So I left the Walmart clerk smiling and chatting with the lady behind me....can I take total credit for it? probably not but on the other hand, I like to think that there is such a thing as a small shift away from the gloom.
I am jealous of people with new babies today..I want a baby. Sadly I don't want to raise another child, smallgirlchild is plenty. So that means no new baby for me even if it were physically possible. I think more people should remember that the small baby is cute the temper tantrum throwing 10 year old not quite so much.

The raising a kid thing is hard...people don't tell you about the what to do when you spouse is as whiney and pouty as your child for example....hmmm maybe that should be my million dollar break through book,...how to raise a husband and child simultaneously.... Don't get me wrong, I love the hubby but last night I finally looked at him and asked if he could just pretend to be a grown up long enough to end the whining and get the kid to bed on a reasonable happy note. I feel like a failure when there is a big emotional scene right before she goes to bed.

OOOh has some fabulous dark chocolate with crystallized ginger in it...was a mother day gift and yummy!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Oh loverly social times today - Dim Sum at Jun-Bo with smallgirlchild and eight of our friends....it was lovely and the service was friendly and the food was marvelous if perhaps a little shrimp heavy.

I really liked the barbecued meat just sliced on a plate and it certrainly made it easy for smallgirlchild to find things to eat. I was very proud she was adventurous and tried some new stuff with mostly success. She is getting to an age where the at least we don't get what I call the Mr Yuck face and the spitting out of food.

In the car on the way home a friend was explaining the concept of philosphy and solipsism to her....I was fascinated by watching her mind work.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Okay here is where it starts

I am gonna make at least a post a day if it kills me in the process just to think. At the moment I probably have no readers and that might be okay too.

You should all go to www.knitlikeapirate.com though. It is an awesome knitting site made by several of my friends and has cute pictures as well.

My small daughter got a wii for Christmas....becasue of some wonderful people who are unrelated to us except by the ties of friends. She adores it and I have to say I am interested by the possibilities.

It is kinda funny raising an inner city kid..we have no space for things like ping pong tables, but the wii has a substitute....crazy but yet space saving.

Testing this hope I did it right

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Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Well I have decided to try this new thing where I get paid for posting about stuff (all good)

and becasue I want to write more 0- and at least by having this incentive to write for money about a certain subject I can maybe get inspired to write something. It should make my blog one huge ranty commercial...wow Sold out to the MAn I am so proud of myself.